Perspective

One of my favorite shows right now is Elementary. It’s a new twist on on Sherlock Holmes, in this case set in current day and in New York City.  Watson and Moriarty are both female, yet the story largely remains the same. It’s about the power of observation and deduction. It, for me, highlights just how much of what happens around us goes unnoticed. My observation is this applies to each of us, and at times has as much to do with the routine of life.

We run in the same circles from day to day.  Once out of the school systems and firmly in the work place our circle of friends and experiences remain quite numbly predictable.  Our thought patterns often fall in to similar routines.  We think about the next meal, but it’s probably been eaten before. We drive to work, likely along the same route. We talk with the same friends and catch up on the same shows, or same sports that we spoke about the last time we met.  I know this is an exaggeration, but I would bet there’s a hint of truth that you recognize.

What if we tried to recognize the differences and think about what that implies.  I have some recent examples to ponder.  First, though, it’s instructive to understand what is ordinary to me. I’m an aging white male in my mid 50’s.  Yikes, I’m getting old, but I digress already.  I’m an engineer with a pretty decent job.  My beautiful wife is also an engineer, though smarter and more ambitious than I, and paid well too.  I  only say this as a back drop to not having to worry about our budget too much.  Yes we worry about it, but it’s not a paycheck to paycheck worry. With that out of the way, let’s move on to some detective work – observations.

We had a manager’s car wash at work.  For 10 bucks you can have your car washed and have two slices of pizza and a drink.  We washed some nice cars and a few were owned by the most junior of folks in the workforce.  These young professionals are my colleagues, and I’m happy they’ve gotten off to a good start in their careers.  I had to stop and wonder why it is that my ride is a Subaru when they choose the BMW and Lexus, but hey whatever – good for them.

I had my hair cut today and I chose a stylist that I’ve had before. She is a young lady who is recently married. She’s probably in her early to mid twenties, about the same age as my young colleagues. We had a nice conversation and she made the comment, only half kidding I’d say, that she’d consider herself successful if she didn’t worry about the extra cost of having the guacamole added to her Chipotle meal.  She’s a unique gem, with some awesome streaks of bright purple in her hair and a tattoo of a heart on her chest. This is not a sappy valentines outline heart, this is an anatomically correct heart.  She has others on her arms and shoulders.  She reminds me of another dear young friend who too is a hair stylist.  She’s very intriguing, and at first you might think she’s very “edgy.”  Yet within minutes of a conversation you will quickly realize that she’s tender.  She’s willing to drive over an hour each way to visit an ailing grandmother, and do it multiple days in a row.  You might come to know that she has a deep love of animals and a wide variety of musical interests.  She’s actually much more like you than you might have first thought, and after thinking a little more you realize that the conversations she has with her clients are more open and genuine that others you have had cut your hair.  There was no small talk about the weather, or the Nats or Skins.  It was more open and welcoming.

It strikes me that the worlds of the young engineering crowd and that of the stylist probably only intersect intermittently.  It strikes me that my stylist may from time to time actually be concerned with the cost of the extra green stuff on the burrito while my young colleague drives a BMW.  The common theme though is they both stand out.  One for the artistic flair shown on her skin and hair the other for the rolling artwork driven to and fro.

It kind of saddens me that I don’t get to hang out with these folks on a routine basis. They view the world differently than many of my other friends, and I appreciate that.

There was also a recent birthday party of a friend and a number of us met for dinner at an Indian restaurant. Well, actually, we were in the adjoining “tap house” for some food and Karaoke. One of the young guys in the group really wanted to try some Indian cuisine cause he hadn’t tried any before.  How great is that! I’ll admit that I’m not much of a connoisseur of Indian food either, but how much fuller would life be if we tried to live outside of our self imposed boxes? The owner of the establishment told us that there really wasn’t authentic Indian food in the Tap House, but more of a cross between typical ‘bar food’ with an Indian flair.  There were some Naan Pizzas for example and some chicken kabobs with a more traditional seasoning.  I thought it was great, though certainly not quite a full Indian meal which was available in the adjoining restaurant. The bottom line though was that I saw someone take an opportunity to try something new and the joy of the new experience showed on his face.  I wish I had more chances to witness this kind of gladness.

As mind my wanders to a close of this trail of haphazard thoughts, I wonder what life might be like if we all took the time to have a random conversation with someone we didn’t know.  What might we learn about their successes, their struggles, what they care about.  My sense is that we all would recognize we have far, far more in common that we at first realize.  My stylish stylist and the young colleagues in the engineering profession are far more alike than they know, and we could all learn something from each other, I just am not sure how that can happen.  I realize too that the challenges are different, and there are those among us that live paycheck to paycheck through no fault of their own and that bothers me.  You shouldn’t have to put off having dental work done due to the cost and inability to have adequate insurance.  Again, I don’t have an answer to the dilemma, but it bugs me more lately.

Those of you that have read my SolomonsSeen blog will already know that I like to slow down at times and really look for the beauty that lies right in front of us.  The beauty that goes unnoticed simply because we don’t observe it.  We need not be detectives like Sherlock and Watson to uncover these sights.  They’re in front of us every day.  So are so many wonderful people with beauty and talents, hopes and dreams, and similarities to each of us.  When will be slow down, an then take a step in courage to really know and be open to being known? 

Perhaps it's better asked of ourselves:

When am I going to slow down and step out in courage and faith to learn from someone and be open to being known?