Pelicans

The western side of the Chesapeake Bay is a few minutes from my office, and a drive along it's shores is the perfect way to unwind from a crappy day.  There's always something to see, a breeze to feel and the specific aroma of the bay.  Today didn't disappoint.

 Driving along the familiar stretch of pavement, I approached the pier that juts off-shore some 50 to 75 feet.  Designed for fisherman, the portion from shore ends and goes both north and south.  It's common for gulls and terns to be perched there, and they are not often bother by human visitors. There are seldom people fishing here. Among the few usual birds there were three large shapes, so I quickly pulled over.

Fortunately, my near skidding approach didn't cause any alarm and all the birds remained perched. This included three pelicans! They were the large shapes I saw.  It's only the second time in as long as I can remember seeing Pelicans there! In fact, it's the only place I've seen them in this area of southern Maryland.  Next it was time to see if I could pull out my camera and get set up before they bolted.




After reaching in the back seat, getting my camera and changing to a larger lens I looked up to see two remained.  By the time I got out of the truck and retrieved my tripod and set the camera upon it, there was still on left!  I can't explain why by he (she?) gave a big stretch of his head extending the big floppy skin below its bill, it's called the gular pouch and holds fish that it catches before swallowing them whole.

zoomed in to see his gular pouch

Then a gull flying around decided to land next to him which caused the terns to take flight.  The chaos was enough for the Pelican and he flew down to the calmer water below.  Since he was still close I walked up the pier to watch a little longer.

 The second Pelican was nearby, and finally the third made his presence know. It was some distance away, flying low when it suddenly dove into the bay, but came up empty.  It took off in a rather awkward mix of flapping and running on the water and tried a second time.  It came up empty yet again.  At this point it continuing flying down the shoreline till I lost track of him.

The different positions of the wings while in flight give a different feel to the scene. While in the upward extension it looks slightly move graceful. Below the sharp bend in the wing while moving back up makes me think he's in attack mode.

Zoomed in above, pretty clearly a Brown Pelican, which I read is still an endangered species though it may be improving.

Parting shot on his way down the beach, I like that you can barely pick up his shadow in the water.



The short time I spent watching and photographing really helped my mood.  I hope you get a sense of the scene that unfolded, and that you too take a minute to see the beauty around us.

Blessings,

Brian F>

Rued Change?

Solomons UMC welcomed a new pastor today.  Pastor Dottie shared her story of change from an accomplished marine biologist working at the Smithsonian to becoming a reverend.. and wife too for that matter.  As she nears her 10 year anniversary, she begins her first assignment as a full elder in the United Methodist Church. Change it seems can come in an instant – in the time it takes to say “yes” to a new idea.  In Dottie’s case that meant saying “yes” to seminary.  Change can take time as well, as in the 10 years to see that initial response come to fruition in front of her first congregation.

Change must be the theme today.  Deb and I watched two movies on this cloudy afternoon. The first, Larry Crowne, starred Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in an offbeat romantic comedy. Tom is cut from his job in a down-sizing maneuver and forced to reconsider life. He goes to college for the first time ever as a middle aged man where he meets a college English professor who is going through her own turmoil. A change in job status, with accompanying loss of income for him.  A change in marital status leaving her wondering what’s next. Change in this movie is shown to be both forced on us, and led by us as well.

The next movie The Little Game about a young gifted student learns about life and chess from a quirky instructor. In order to send their little girl to a private school with better opportunities the parents struggle with finaces. The mother has to work more shifts and isn’t around. Her grandmother dies and she’s left questioning how much time is left on this earth and where she’ll be in 4 billion years. Change in schools and in friends leaves her searching for some constancy.   What is here today is not guaranteed to be here tomorrow, and she learns this from those around her, those loving her.

Time stands still for no one as the adage goes. As the sands of the hour glass drop one by one, nearly imperceptibly, the seconds add up and the years fade at rates that seem faster than possible.  Christopher is now married, the house a bit emptier and slightly quieter yet definitively more empty. Time passes. Change is inevitable.

The message this morning and the movies this afternoon remind us that we need to be deliberate about living life and not letting life move on with us as mere passengers. More than that, the films and sermon bring to the forefront the need to live with love and grace.  Families, friends, loves, community, these are the reasons life is worth living whether in prosperity or struggle, it is love that carries us and up lifts.

Thinking about all of this, pondering my own position on this chess board called life, I’m grateful for so many things. My family both near and far, friends and acquaintances that emanate life and love. The local southern Maryland summer swim league is an amazing collection of families. So much support for each other, and so many smiles. Additionally, a party yesterday for a beautiful 15 year old we know was full of fun, friends and food.  There were games, music and dancing (well by at least a good number of the bunch.) And Christopher and Laurens wedding last weekend was a blast. Again, fun, family, food, conversation, love, music, dancing.  I’ll add art as well, for all of these events showcase the beauty of this world if we just slow down enough to see it.

I was just about to edit this essay and ready it for posting when I saw a video that Deborah shared on her FaceBook page. The change theme continues, maybe tangentially. This video dares us to live into the dreams inside us. In our limited time here on this uni-verse, will we influence our own changes such that we live to the end of our days and be able to say we have no regrets. Did we dare to live passionately, did we have the passion to dare to live – really live?  Or will we rue our decisions in our last breath. Take the time to watch the  video

Change happens with us, without us, despite us, and sometimes it feels like it in spite of us. Some feels good, some feels bad. As I stare out the window to the grey skies, I hope to remember to slow down, take a breath, create some art, listen to some music, enjoy a relaxed paced meal with friends and good conversation. I pray to embrace the change, welcome new adventure and do my best to love well.

Love Fights

Love is patient. Love is kind……  many of us know the passage so oft used at a wedding.

Yet love is that word that means so many things to so many people. It’s that feeling of butterflys in your gut brought on simply by seeing your special partner.  Love is shown in tender moments and time spent together hand in hand.  Love is that passion you can’t ignore when that special person is by your side.

Love is lots of things. Love is what continues after the honeymoon period described above is over. Love is the series of unending compromises, surprises, acts of service, words of encouragement and a hug when needed most. Love is standing by through the illnesses, crisis and tragedies that befall everyone.

Love is also tough and feisty. Love is the willingness to continue to pursue your partner long after the initial infatuation wears off. Love remains and love fights to continue.  Love is the jab that says “I need to be first.” Translated into other terms – “I can’t let you drift away, you mean too much to me to let that happen.”  Love is the right hook that sets boundaries which are established to make each other feel safe.

A vase of flowers, so meaningful and special on their arrival, wither and drop their leaves. Love, I’m finding, can fall like petals too, unless you’re willing to fight for it. Love is worth the fight. Take the jab, through the hook, not in the aim of hurting, rather in the goal to keep the love.

Love is worth the good fight.

On the Edge

I'm not really sure how to introduce this piece. The most honest preface is that I've been pretty stressed lately. The details of that stress aren't the focus here, just the result.

Sadly, my self-control needs some work, some strengthening. It's most noticeable when incomprehensible policy collide with automated phone systems followed by uninteligile clerks that simply recite their scripts. Simply put ...  I loose it.

They say confession is good for the soul... here's mine

On the edge, the precipice

The risk imperceptible, the adrenaline calls

Push norms aside, it’s time to fight

 The feeling isn’t noticeable, the quick change from Jekyll to Hyde

Mild mannered, sarcasm turns to spiteful raging venom

Restraint a distant memory

Vile words spewed with malice

Feel my wrath you wretched minion,

You worthless imbecile

You who hide behind policy, behind the telephone line

Should I care that you are a peon, a pawn.

Not in this state, not this time

You are the enemy, the one standing in my way

 The crash from monster to man nearly as sudden

The fall painful, the mirror reveals the ugliness

The heart constricted, defeated…  for a time

Reflection giving way to resignation

 

Deep breaths, fast but slowing

Dark thoughts eased and fading

Self-control, the star stands silent,

Watching, mocking

Slow breaths

Time for prayer

Forgiveness sought

 Peace elusive

Sacred Love

A Humans of New York (HONY) post the other day captured the words of a widower. Married for over 60 years he told of how he misses his wife, his love. The gentleman talked about how love is ill defined and that even Shakespeare could not adequately capture the meaning of love in his sonnets. This wise soul spoke of how he misses sharing his meals with his wife. How much he misses getting into bed at the same time she did. That over the years he grew to appreciate that love is not just the physical attraction two people feel.

Love, it is said, is a set of actions that collectively show the depth of feeling, compassion and sacrifice for another. Love is many things to many people, and something longed for by all.  To love takes courage, to be loved for all of who you are- warts, flaws and beauty alike – means you bare your soul and stand ready to be disappointed in the response. It means you risk it all. You risk rejection and apathy, hurt and heartache. There is nothing finer than when the love is mutual and nurturing, and nothing more destructive when shattered by betrayal.

There are times when we love well, and times when we don’t. We know it, though I’m not sure we like to own up to that. There are times too when we don’t have much at all left to give, and there’s nothing more on our heart than to be loved well. We long for that caring gesture, the kind word, support, a tender touch, the perfectly timed intimate moment – both physical and emotional.

Love is a dance, a step at a time, leading and following, giving and receiving. Love has a rhythm and pace set by the two partners. The supporting verses and climax woven in the context of the lives lived with the responsibilities and demands of each partner. The tempo changes, the volume swells and fades at times, yet love is the whole of the dance, not just the peaks.

In life the dance of love may be started and stopped for any number of reasons. The search for that next dance, that next partner once again pits us against the silence and shadows. Courage and faith tested yet again when the previous song has ended or was cut short.

Love is there though, of that I am confident. I’m not sure I can fully explain why I believe that other than by my experience. It is there to be found, and cherished.

My prayer is that we all find that sacred bond.

Fear

I recently wrote about my “Star” for the year – Self-control and what that might mean.
As I scroll through my FaceBook feed I’m forced to face my self-control head on. I’m assaulted with the wings of the spectrum, mostly far left and far right. The world is a scary place and you can read about it directly on any newsopinion site you chose.  If you haven’t guessed the newsopinion is what most simply call News, yet true news of just reporting the facts is pretty much a lost profession. It’s far more profitable to be selective in the reporting and couch things in such a way as to cause someone, or group to become upset. The easiest way to upset folks is to stir them up.

Stir up the fears most of us harbor. The fear of the unknown in all of its forms. Fear of unknown people. We can call them migrants, aliens, refugees and our lack of knowledge leads us to pick our newsopinion site and believe it lock, stock and barrel. Oh, and speaking of barrels, rile them up with fear of losing their rifles. Now that will set some folks OFF! That way we can infer that background checks might lead to registration, and registration to confiscation. Right. Now I’m not so naïve to believe the few additional background checks will curb the shootings in this country either. But now I’ve equally upset the polar opposites in this country. I’m hoping to find some middle ground that we can all call America.

There are any number of issues in this country that need to be addressed. Racism still exists, police reform is needed, too many folks are homeless – including a number of veterans, there is an ever widening wealth gap, the global climate change looks to be a force of change, technology is ever more helpful and yet also potentially harmful. The problems need to be faced and addressed. The difficulty is in the range of attitudes surrounding them. The problems are complex, the causes are numerous and nuanced. The solutions will require greater understanding, study, compromise, sacrifice and persistence to solve. Blaming and causing division is NOT the solution, yet I don’t think there is any candidate that will run on a platform of study, compromise and sacrifice. The public won’t buy that. We are the problem; I am the problem. Fear is the problem.

I fear for my safety. We fear for our economic wellbeing. I don’t want to be content with what I have. We don’t want to share. I don’t want to sacrifice. It’s far easier to say “they should”, not “what can I do.”

Contentedness. Greed. Sacrifice. Fear. They fight to coexist in some marginal optimum, yet they cannot. Resentment or joy remain the undebatable conclusions.

I’m left to conclude that I (we) do not love as I (we) ought, and my self-control is not what it needs to be.

There is no fear in love.  (1 John 4:18)

Seeing Stars

For the Christian circle, this Sunday is Epiphany Sunday. It’s the day celebrated in remembrance of the Magi (Wiseman) visiting Christ. The Bible indicates they followed the Star to Bethlehem.  Given that they are said to returned to their lands by a route different than they came, and avoided going back to King Herod, we can arguably say they were changed by the encounter. For you non-Christian friends, hang in there with me, this story has universal application, and I don’t plan on preaching at you. I will, though, be asking you a question for consideration.  Just consideration,, okay?

Think what you will of “Christians”, we come in all shapes, sizes and temperaments – just like the rest of society. So what do we collectively think of the following words:  Joy, Peace, Patience, Self-Control, faithfulness, joy, gentleness, kindness, and goodness? I feel it safe to say that we can all agree these traits are admirable. It could be (should be) wise to live in such a way as to demonstrate these characteristics. Would it bother you if these are Biblical? I hope not.

We have had a tradition of celebrating Epiphany by picking out at random a paper star with one of those words on it. That selected word is one to look for over the course of the year. It is the word to perhaps develop or see unfold, directly or indirectly over the next year. My randomly selected word for 2016 is Self-Control, and in the Greek, it is actually one word. Self-control. 

Self-control is certainly a trait that needs strengthening within me. My poor choice of language, verbal mostly, is in desperate need for some cleaning. I’ve been working with sailors for too long, and the culture has worn off on me.  I could stand to show a little more restraint in the use of my right foot on the gas pedal when upset. There are numbers of things that will come to mind as I sit here. Yet, I mentioned this is a tradition. We’ve been doing this random selection of our Stars for some 20 years now. I know for sure that how I’m viewing the Star will change as this year unfolds. Of all the words on the list above, this one seems the most daunting to me.

That is a sentiment that I confess is misplaced. This list of characteristics is refered to as Fruit of the Spirit and are considered good gifts – all of them. While they are considered gifts, I know they can be ignored and left as undesired, especially in the heat of the moment. Can you be kind in the face of adversity? Can you be good in the face of evil done to you? Can you be good when harm becomes you? Can you be faithful – always? Can you be gentle when in the midst of cruelty? Can you show joy when ill? Can I show self-control in a traffic jam, or in a meeting when I hold the minority opinion, or in an argument with a loved one? Choosing to seek the gift, to take a breath, slow down, decide what matters, that’s a challenge we all should be accepting.

So, how about it? If you made it this far, would you be willing to pick a random star this year? We can work this many ways.  I’m willing to set up a random number generator, you select a number and I’ll send back the random word assigned.  Or you could do the same. Or as some friends have done, make you own set of stars with all possibilities – multiples of them is better, and pick one.

I believe if we all looked for and followed our Stars, we learn and grow…  and isn’t that what life should be about?

Blessings,

Brian