I'm not really sure how to introduce this piece. The most honest preface is that I've been pretty stressed lately. The details of that stress aren't the focus here, just the result.
Sadly, my self-control needs some work, some strengthening. It's most noticeable when incomprehensible policy collide with automated phone systems followed by uninteligile clerks that simply recite their scripts. Simply put ... I loose it.
They say confession is good for the soul... here's mine
On the edge, the precipice
The risk imperceptible, the adrenaline calls
Push norms aside, it’s time to fight
The feeling isn’t noticeable, the quick change from Jekyll
to Hyde
Mild mannered, sarcasm turns to spiteful raging venom
Restraint a distant memory
Vile words spewed with malice
Feel my wrath you wretched minion,
You worthless imbecile
You who hide behind policy, behind the telephone line
Should I care that you are a peon, a pawn.
Not in this state, not this time
You are the enemy, the one standing in my way
The crash from monster to man nearly as sudden
The fall painful, the mirror reveals the ugliness
The heart constricted, defeated… for a time
Reflection giving way to resignation
Deep breaths, fast but slowing
Dark thoughts eased and fading
Self-control, the star stands silent,
Watching, mocking
Slow breaths
Time for prayer
Forgiveness sought
Peace elusive
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