Love Fights

Love is patient. Love is kind……  many of us know the passage so oft used at a wedding.

Yet love is that word that means so many things to so many people. It’s that feeling of butterflys in your gut brought on simply by seeing your special partner.  Love is shown in tender moments and time spent together hand in hand.  Love is that passion you can’t ignore when that special person is by your side.

Love is lots of things. Love is what continues after the honeymoon period described above is over. Love is the series of unending compromises, surprises, acts of service, words of encouragement and a hug when needed most. Love is standing by through the illnesses, crisis and tragedies that befall everyone.

Love is also tough and feisty. Love is the willingness to continue to pursue your partner long after the initial infatuation wears off. Love remains and love fights to continue.  Love is the jab that says “I need to be first.” Translated into other terms – “I can’t let you drift away, you mean too much to me to let that happen.”  Love is the right hook that sets boundaries which are established to make each other feel safe.

A vase of flowers, so meaningful and special on their arrival, wither and drop their leaves. Love, I’m finding, can fall like petals too, unless you’re willing to fight for it. Love is worth the fight. Take the jab, through the hook, not in the aim of hurting, rather in the goal to keep the love.

Love is worth the good fight.

On the Edge

I'm not really sure how to introduce this piece. The most honest preface is that I've been pretty stressed lately. The details of that stress aren't the focus here, just the result.

Sadly, my self-control needs some work, some strengthening. It's most noticeable when incomprehensible policy collide with automated phone systems followed by uninteligile clerks that simply recite their scripts. Simply put ...  I loose it.

They say confession is good for the soul... here's mine

On the edge, the precipice

The risk imperceptible, the adrenaline calls

Push norms aside, it’s time to fight

 The feeling isn’t noticeable, the quick change from Jekyll to Hyde

Mild mannered, sarcasm turns to spiteful raging venom

Restraint a distant memory

Vile words spewed with malice

Feel my wrath you wretched minion,

You worthless imbecile

You who hide behind policy, behind the telephone line

Should I care that you are a peon, a pawn.

Not in this state, not this time

You are the enemy, the one standing in my way

 The crash from monster to man nearly as sudden

The fall painful, the mirror reveals the ugliness

The heart constricted, defeated…  for a time

Reflection giving way to resignation

 

Deep breaths, fast but slowing

Dark thoughts eased and fading

Self-control, the star stands silent,

Watching, mocking

Slow breaths

Time for prayer

Forgiveness sought

 Peace elusive

Sacred Love

A Humans of New York (HONY) post the other day captured the words of a widower. Married for over 60 years he told of how he misses his wife, his love. The gentleman talked about how love is ill defined and that even Shakespeare could not adequately capture the meaning of love in his sonnets. This wise soul spoke of how he misses sharing his meals with his wife. How much he misses getting into bed at the same time she did. That over the years he grew to appreciate that love is not just the physical attraction two people feel.

Love, it is said, is a set of actions that collectively show the depth of feeling, compassion and sacrifice for another. Love is many things to many people, and something longed for by all.  To love takes courage, to be loved for all of who you are- warts, flaws and beauty alike – means you bare your soul and stand ready to be disappointed in the response. It means you risk it all. You risk rejection and apathy, hurt and heartache. There is nothing finer than when the love is mutual and nurturing, and nothing more destructive when shattered by betrayal.

There are times when we love well, and times when we don’t. We know it, though I’m not sure we like to own up to that. There are times too when we don’t have much at all left to give, and there’s nothing more on our heart than to be loved well. We long for that caring gesture, the kind word, support, a tender touch, the perfectly timed intimate moment – both physical and emotional.

Love is a dance, a step at a time, leading and following, giving and receiving. Love has a rhythm and pace set by the two partners. The supporting verses and climax woven in the context of the lives lived with the responsibilities and demands of each partner. The tempo changes, the volume swells and fades at times, yet love is the whole of the dance, not just the peaks.

In life the dance of love may be started and stopped for any number of reasons. The search for that next dance, that next partner once again pits us against the silence and shadows. Courage and faith tested yet again when the previous song has ended or was cut short.

Love is there though, of that I am confident. I’m not sure I can fully explain why I believe that other than by my experience. It is there to be found, and cherished.

My prayer is that we all find that sacred bond.