I’d like to be the Aston Martin DB9 in a world of Mustang GT’s.
I’d prefer the Tacoma TRD to the F350 Heavy Duty. I don’t want to out grunt the
mundane by being oversized, hyper loud to announce my presence with brute force. It’s the precise curves, and subtle stance
backed up by finesse that I would prefer.
It is the kind word and thoughtful act that I long to be a
routine in daily conversation. There is
already enough rudeness, posturing and negativity. I would rather be helpful than hurtful, grace
filled than hate bearing, accepting than rejecting.
And yet,
And yet,
I find myself far more easily brought to anger, far more
frequently expressing a harshness and sharpness that is the antithesis of what
I want to bear. My tongue is quick to release a venom that can cannot be
retracked.
And while I hope I’m being dramatic for effect above, I have
to stop and wonder how closely the truth resides. I will shamefully admit that my emotions often
have their way, with snide comments only halfway under my breath, and that I
want to retort every “positive” message that is part of the scrolling diatribe
of social media even while being a welcome respite from the monotony of the
polarized farthest “left” and most distant “right.”
I watched a truly beautiful video extolling the effects of “letting
go” of bad relationships, distant failures, and any other manner of damaging
situations. It was sincere, well filmed
and poignant. My only thought was to reply with “huh, I wish I had heard that
before” in the most snarky, script, tone, text color, and emojis I could
muster. The message is spot on. It’s truthful and accurate. The message has a wealth of science to
support the benefit. It’s SIMPLE. JUST.LET.GO…
Simple.
I have a major problem with this message. My problem is that is only a fraction of the
answer. The true problem is that this simple solution is NOT EASY. Let’s start a mind game. Play along.
Think of your problem; the thing you need to let go of. Now, queue the hit song from Frozen and sing
along. Now at the top of your voice…. “let
it go” , Let it GOOOOO, LLLLEEEETTT
ITTT GOOOOOO.. Let is go. Disney will be proud of their marketing of that
song, and now realizes you should have been in the chorus. You feel better and your problem is gone. Right?
Uh, yeah, that didn’t work for me either. And you can see how easily I’ve slipped into
my snarky true colors.
The solution to your problem is not in knowing that you need
to let go. That would be like an alcoholic knowing that they should stop
drinking. That’s just the simple observation.
The obvious answer. The solution is in
figuring out HOW to let go. AA has found
a 12 step process in letting go of Alcohol with great success, and even that
system is not 100% effective. The observation is SIMPLE. The act of learning to let go is HARD. Very
hard in some cases. Ask a smoker how
easy it was to quit, even if the solution to their breathing issues was as
simple as quitting smoking. Simple is
not easy.
How do you learn to let go of past failures, past hurts,
current destructive relationships, financial struggles and, in my case, Chronic
Illness? How? How, when we know going in that it is not
easy.
How to your release the tension? How to you concentrate on
something else? Have you tried to
escape? Do you take the Mustang GT and
do a very high speed, screaming engine, burning tires drive through tree lined
country roads with no room for driver error?
Do you grab that F350 attached to the biggest travel trailer you can
find and head for the furthest scenic destination? Maybe slip into that DB-9 crank up the
perfect car audio and cruise the smoothest highway you can find. Maybe hop into the Taco and find some sand
along an empty shore.
Since I’ve tried methods very similar to the first two, in my
mind I’ll opt for the latter two while sitting on the couch. I’ll ponder why I can’t seem to recognize the
beauty all around me. I’ll try to focus
on all the reasons that I should be grateful. The present isn’t at all so very terrible. And maybe, just maybe, with a loving partner,
a few amazing friends, luck and prayer I’ll find a way, I’ll find the “how” to simple
notion of just letting go. And in so
doing, thoughtfulness and kindness will again reign my actions. The 12 steps, I’m told, starts with recognition
of the need to change. Let this be that
moment.
Step 1. Check!
Are you ready to take a step. Sounds simple, but we all know it's going to be tough.
Please join me.
